Caniform Survey

I piss backwards during tornado season. My eyes got crossed and it shouldn’t have been funny but everyone loves to laugh at the poor man without a wallet.

Yesterday, I ate a loofa and got in real bad trouble. It was like, don’t do this don’t do this don’t do that naughty naughty bad boy, and then hydrogen peroxide ejaculated at the back of my throat and one of my teeth went down and up with the netting. It hurt badly. I won’t cry unless someone’s watching, and when they roll their eyes, I want to kill my self. I’d do it again, too. I’ve been thinking about it. I wish I could eat Xanax or prozac again without having to be restrained. Or put in a grey jacket. I hate the grey jackets. They taste poorly. I think I’m poor. I don’t own a wallet but I’ve surely stolen one. I piss backwards during tornado season. My eyes got crossed and it shouldn’t have been funny but everyone loves to laugh at the poor man without a wallet. My penis is no longer growing, and I cannot predict when it will show its skinned body. I saw the other guy’s penis and it was white and only sort of pink. He told me not to eat the hairs of his testes, and I got jealous. He kneed me in the chest when I tried again, because I wanted to, and it knocked the wind out of me. I did a somersault to feel better and it worked. And then I forgot everything about anything and I did it again. Somersaults only hurdle you so far into grief counseling. Birds eat seeds unless I eat them first. Cats don’t appreciate humping but I like a fight and consent doesn’t apply to me. There’s my penis again. The shower’s running. I have ten minutes. I have ten minutes to stare at the phantom in the corner of the kitchen. I have ten minutes.